Children of Alcoholics: The Long-Term Adverse Effects

Parents struggling with alcoholism (which experts call «alcohol use disorder» or AUD) may be surprised or concerned to learn about the affect their drinking can have on their children now and through adulthood. Their kids, however, may find relief knowing what may have contributed to some of the issues they may face today. These are just a few of the many consequences of growing up in an alcoholic home. Each child is different and interprets and internalizes a parent’s alcoholic behavior differently. It’s also important to realize that the effects of living with an alcoholic parent don’t stop once the child reaches adulthood.

If your parent with AUD is willing to attend therapy with you, family therapy can often help rebuild trust and pave the way toward healing. Individual therapy is a great place to start, says Michelle Dubey, LCSW, chief clinical officer for Landmark Recovery. The type of therapy you pursue may depend on the issues you’re most concerned about. Your therapist can help you determine a therapy approach that best fits your unique needs and concerns.

What Happens as These Children Age?

Mental health of parents significantly affects the psychology of children regardless of their alcohol use. Studies have reported that the presence of maternal depression in families with alcoholic fathers increased the risk of development of internalizing problems in children. Cognitive ability of children measured by academic performance and school achievement was seen to be lower in children of alcoholics as compared to healthy controls [55]. Poor cognition ability considered as the ability to think, reason and recognize emotions may make the children more vulnerable to be affected by the negative external environment. While, poor academic performance and achievement in school and social setting may also be the result of both poor cognition and negative impact of parental alcoholism. These issues can take root physically or psychologically, and consequences can last through adulthood.

Because alcohol use is normalized in families with alcoholism, children can often struggle to distinguish between good role models and bad ones. As a result, many will end up feeling conflicted, confused, and self-conscious when they realize that drinking is not considered normal in other families. Children of parents with AUD may want their parents to change, and they may suggest life would be better if the parent stopped drinking. But at the same time, the child may feel a sense of security in the sameness of alcoholism. If you live with a parent who has an alcohol or drug problem, you’re not alone.

Marital and Family Functioning

These symptoms can significantly impact a person’s life and relationships if left untreated. It’s essential to learn about ACOA syndrome symptoms and ways you can https://ecosoberhouse.com/article/how-alcoholic-parents-affect-their-children/ combat them if you are struggling. They may also be attracted to individuals that have a similar compulsive disorder and get themselves into toxic relationships.

Children of alcoholics may also struggle with substance abuse themselves, as they may turn to drugs or alcohol to cope with their emotions and stress. They may engage in risky behavior, such as underage drinking or drug use, leading to legal problems and health issues. A survey of college students conducted by Kim and Lee [49] concluded that age was a moderating factor with young children being more negatively affected as compared to adolescents or adults. The survey also reported that as they age, COAs tend to become more insensible to their alcoholic parents [49]. Family studies have shown that even healthy family members of drug-dependent patients are more prone to have impulsive personality traits and shortcomings in executive functioning [23]. A Norwegian twin study suggests that the trait “impulsivity” is a genetic risk factor, and “conduct disorder” resembles a combined genetic and development risk for suffering from AUD.

Difficulty trusting and being closed off

If you are experiencing one or more of the issues above or any other psychological distress, you deserve help and treatment. The emotional and psychological scars that children of parents with AUD can develop can last well into adulthood. If you have an alcohol problem and you have children in the home, please try to find help. Children of parents who use alcohol are at higher risk for anxiety, depression, and unexplained physical symptoms (internalizing behaviors). They are also more likely to display rule-breaking, aggressiveness, and impulsivity (externalizing behaviors) in childhood. Some adult children of parents with AUD take themselves very seriously, finding it extremely difficult to give themselves a break.

• Growing up as a COA can lead people to develop an unhealthy perception of allowances they should make for dysfunctional behavior.
• Aron Janssen, MD is board certified in child, adolescent, and adult psychiatry and is the vice chair of child and adolescent psychiatry Northwestern University.
• You’re also put in the position of having to “parent” yourself in a dysfunctional home.
• The link between neglect and excessive drinking in parents is due to the dangerous side effects of alcohol.
• Be aware that your genetics and your upbringing make it more likely that you might also develop an AUD, and monitor your own drinking behaviors.

There is often constant arguing, little order, and no way to know what to expect around routines and needs. You’re actually a highly sensitive person, but you’veshut down youremotions in order to cope. You hold back emotionally and will only reveal so much of your true self. This limits the amount of intimacy you can have with your partner and can leave you feeling disconnected.

In families in which both parents have an AUD, teens may be at higher risk. Children with alcoholic parents learn to hide their emotions as a defense mechanism. Negative emotions, such as sadness, anger, embarrassment, shame, and frustration, are concealed to create a sense of denial. Hiding one’s negative emotions for an extended period of time can cause a shutdown of all emotions in adulthood. Positive emotions can become just as difficult to express as the negative ones. People who suffer from alcohol use disorders often do not realize the effects that their drinking has on other individuals.

Addiction isn’t the child’s fault, and they don’t have the power to fix it. But, they see their inability to do so as a failure, and this can add to their feelings of guilt and shame. Children who turn to this kind of perfectionism as a coping mechanism often remain perfectionists in adulthood. Many alcoholic parents have erratic mood swings and become violent with their children while intoxicated. Whether the parents are physically or mentally abusive, kids will grow up wondering why the person who is supposed to love and nurture them is actually the person they fear the most. Sometimes, the child can even develop a form of PTSD called C-PTSD if the abuse happens repeatedly.

Therapists are Standing By to Treat Your Depression, Anxiety or Other Mental Health Needs

However, children can also be emotionally neglected by their alcoholic parents. For example, celebratory occasions like getting an A on a test are usually ignored by addicted mothers or fathers because they are too consumed with their addiction. These actions harm the child, leading to developmental delays, low self-esteem, depression, and other psychological conditions. In the US, approximately 7.5 million children are exposed to a parent’s alcoholism at home. Some parents may conceal their alcohol use disorder (AUD), while others may openly struggle with the effects of AUD. No matter the case, children of alcoholics are typically faced with trauma and more challenges than the average child.

These experiences are generated primarily by parents, other family members, in school and among peers. Successful experiences provide the child with a sense of competence, stable self-identity and coping skills, whereas failure results in a sense of inadequacy, inferiority and poor or maladaptive coping skills. Research shows that children of alcoholics have higher rates of anxiety, depression, and poor self-esteem.